I hope I never end up on Forensic Files.

Once upon a time i met a girl named Kathy. I knew when I met her that we were destined to be in some way, shape, or form. And as it turns out we're identical twins. I know we don't look alike; one of us may or may not be a dashingly handsome black man while the other is an uncomfortably gorgeous white woman, but I'm fairly certain our brains were born of the same ingenious seed. I know I don't have to mention how my body responds negatively/physically to the thought of Kevin James in any state of undress, and I'm sure I don't have to mention how hers does either. I know I don't have to say it but I'm fairly certain we also share the same opinions of Sienna Miller, Raven Symoné, Aaron Carter, and Melanie C.

She posted a blog about her trials and tribulations with variations of life that lend themselves to the areas of health and nutrition, and how it seems that people breathe out stupid everywhere you turn. I'd like to think I'm going through a similar situation, though I know the variables are different. I feel that ultimately it's not about what you're doing, but the level of respect you receive while you're doing it. I feel like the unfortunate variables in our seemingly-different-but-ultimately-similar situations always end up being... stupid people. WONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE! FORM OF: RANT!

So in the last two months or so my diet has changed drastically. My boyfriend Ryan and I decided that we needed to clean up our eating acts. A typical night would involve ordering a pizza, snacking on cookies and/or chips, then eating ice cream and watching DVR. So we threw out all of the processed sugars/sugary foods we owned. We got rid of the saturated fats and other various nasties. We replaced our previous guilty pleasures with organic foods, whole grains, and leafy greens. Since Christmas I've lost about 15lbs. I know that we aren't overweight so please, don't pretend as though I am citing this as some personal triumph. I know we are in no immediate need of radical diet change for health purposes, religious purposes, or any other purpose you can come up with. But that doesn't mean that I should leave well enough alone and be content in the fact that I can be unhealthy and not worry about the consequences right now. Even as I type that it sounds ridiculous, and yet I feel as though I am up against nothing but opposition from people regardless of their standing in my tiny social circle.

And it makes me wonder what the Christ is wrong with people. It seems as though (here comes the cliche that is so obviously cliche but somewhat necessary in a time like this) most people can only see in black and white and my opinion is clearly a shade of gray. One of the cooler grays, though... sometimes when my peoples wear warmer grays we tend to look like extras from Mad Max... or Fame... or anything made before 1998 with black people in it. Anyway, THIS is the respect I'm talking about. I always wonder after I end up defending my actions to someone(s) why they get to share their opinion with me anyway. And also, why am I defending myself? Why is my deciding to take better care of myself a reason for you to praise me so much that I know you thought I was seconds away from changing my name to White Castle Wendy's McDonald's Arby's Jr. or spit out so much disdain that I have no choice but to think you're attacking me out of fear for yourself and the things you are or aren't doing. I would like to be able to doctor myself however I see fit and not worry about the opinions of Random Mc Stupidperson and the Wealth of Bad Ideas Band.

So ultimately I wish people would keep their opinions to themselves unless they are asked for or supportive in the way that doesn't make me want to kill you with the season 1 box set of King of Queens. I think I've watched enough Forensic Files to make sure nobody ever finds your body or hears from me again. Although I'm pretty sure all they need to track you down now is a hunch, a pube, and a nosy neighbor. I may have stolen those three pieces of evidence from an episode of Matlock. And with that I take my leave.