long island bound

I wanted this post to be really long and involved, but I think I'm going to cut it short for tonight and get to the real meat of my mind happenings tomorrow.

I'm on Long Island for Christmas. What usually ends in some sort of heartache and/or disappointment is instead coming along rather nicely. My recent experiences with Long Island have been a little less than savory. My family life is to be discussed pending the depth of tomorrow's post. But... I will tell you this. Spending a few hours in a car with very good friends; blasting The Get Up Kids (singing along, of course) and driving from 7-11 to 7-11 filling our bodies with various flavored coffees is nothing short of amazing. This evening with Melinda awakened a long since dead part of me. I forgot what it was to sing like that, and just not care.

I always care now. No matter what. It's not even lost youth, it's my own neuroses stifling my self expression. I wonder why i choose to channel my being into these little facets of a personality, bits and pieces of a whole self. I feel like everyone I know only offers up 25%. There is always something more. And more often than not it's something more special or spectacular that they shelved in order to be this concentric circle wave in a sea of individuals. Sometimes metaphors don't do me or my thoughts justice. But it's okay. I'm on the road to self discovery and it's certainly something I'm looking forward to.

So... I'll post again tomorrow. I swear to you blog. I'm sorry I don't take as much care of us as I should. You'll see, though; and you won't be able to get rid of me.