begin to hope.

Sometimes I think my emotional biological clock is working in reverse. Unlike most people, i abhor the summertime. I don't really know why, either. I really enjoy the fact that I can go outside in just a hoodie (I'll wear a hoodie in up to 90 degree weather, it's true) without freezing to death, but the other summertime staples escape me. I understand the appeal of the sun and it's warmth; people and their gathering; outside and it's happenings and other warm weather things you can come up with. And more often than not I am completely okay with these things. BUT every now and again I despise the warmer weather and it's events. I don't know why. I know these are things I should like simply because I would probably benefit from going out and experiencing things and people in this outdoor friendly time of year, but that knowledge isn't enough to keep me from sitting in my house watching Forensic Files.

Actually, I don't think I dislike it as much as I pretend to. SEE!? Emotions getting the best of me and making me into some mole person. I think I'm just more emotional in the summertime. I know everyone and their mother is thrown into this wild and crazy downward spiral of crushing and devastating depression during the winter season, but my life is like 5th grade opposite day. (Sidebar: I just got a call from a girl asking, rather frantically, if I posted her bail yet! Sadly, no I did not.)

I've been thinking a lot about my life in general. Where I am right now, what I'm doing, where i want to be. You know, average mental activities of your textbook 20-something. And while I know I'm certainly not where I'd like to be in terms of my job and finances, or my living situation (when it's warm outside everyday is parade day), I'm in an okay spot. Things are tough every now and again when it comes to money, and friends, and my relationship... but lately every time I think about the bad the angel on my shoulder shocks me into thinking about good things. I know nothing is perfect, I'm sure we all do, but sometimes the good certainly outweighs the bad. And some things certainly are worth struggling for. Eventually I'll get promoted at my job or I'll find another one, and we'll move out of this paper mache apartment complex. I just celebrated my 2 year anniversary with Ryan. Last week he took me to see Goldfrapp as a surprise anniversary gift. I almost shit myself with excitement. Seriously if you ever do anything again in your life ever, go see Goldfrapp. And make sure someone you love surprises you with a ticket. Amazing. I have lots of photos, but I'm only going to post this one right now.



I've also come into family somewhat recently. I have a new nephew, his name is Christopher.



I think I look prim and proper with a child in my arms. Don't you? One of these days I'd like to have a child of my own... once I can manage to stop spending excess money on video game paraphernalia.




Anyway, like I said. Two year anniversary business. So our actual anniversary was yesterday May 6th, so I tried my best to recreate our first date. I think we actually did everything we did on our first date, some things were tweaked. I made breakfast yesterday morning. Sounds easy enough, but once you put me into a kitchen setting it's done. I can barely put water into the filter without soaking myself and my surroundings in gallons of water. But I think I pulled it off. I wanted to be sweet. Instead of Mr. Softee we went to that ice cream place off of 2nd ave with delicious delicious ice cream that comes in wacky flavors. And instead of going to Blockbuster and renting Monster In Law we went to Virgin and I bought Heathers, The Rose, Dancer In The Dark, and the Reno 911 movie. Sometimes it seems as though we've been together forever and other times it seems like I just met Ryan yesterday. I keep having that "I know you" feeling. You know when you know someone and you're just... around them... and all of a sudden you realize that you know them, oftentimes better than you usually think you do. Ah well, all I can say is things are going well. Until things kick into gear and I start moving onward and upward at least I've got my idiosyncratic joys, my itunes playlists, my video games, my exquisite wit, and my amazing boyfriend.

On May 6th 2006 I was tricked into relinquishing my heart to a fantastic man. 2 years later and I'm still without my most weighty of organs; tucked into his back pocket for safekeeping.

Here he is.



Here we are.


And here is a grape with a vagina.


OH and also. Barack Obama is probably going to beat out Hilary. While I won't discuss my opinion on this election in this lowly excuse for a paragraph I just wanted to make mention of the state of our potential democratic candidate. You heard it here folks, black people are pretty sweet.